A little bit of this and that

A little bit of this and that

Christmas really is coming to quickly this year. Too quickly. Still have too much to do and its what 5 days away. Ok so I had to take a deep breath so I didn't run away from the computer screaming when I saw that in black and white.

Ok so I have a tiny little rant today. It's about Jason's ex-wife. I really get along with her quite well. We've come along way from the bickering and her back stabbing, she was brutal, very brutal. But we really have both made an effort and enjoy catching up with one another. Now my main interest is not in her, but in "A", Jason's daughter. My main thing with Jason, who really loathes his ex-wife (he has his reasons which are pretty justified) is that he has to make nice for the sake of A, to be a part of her life and how important it is that he remains amiable with his ex so that he can be a part of A's life and she can see that the divorce has nothing to do with her and how much he loves her. They live in VA...some 3000 miles away from us. I really think that we do our part, we pay $400.68/mo in child support, and pay for her med/dental insurance and all deductables. There is even this bill that we are disputing right now, cause the Dr's office is holding Jason responsible for not one, but TWO "No call, No show" appointments. Lets face it, he has no control on wether or not his ex makes it happen, and that falls on her, it even states so in the divorce decree.

Anyways back to my rant, I am upset, cause we send A packages for almost all holidays, and cards (even St. Pattys) cause its just important to make that effort for her and we enjoy doing it. Well we just sent her a lot of goodies for Christmas and her birthday, $100 worth plus almost $30 to ship the boxes and I know that they were received cause we got the confirmation. Yet he gets NO CALL to say "Thank You." Now A is only 5 so this is obviously not something that she can do on her own. But I as a mother whenever anyone sends my kids something make it happen, I make sure there is a phone call. They call to express their thanks and now that Micah is writing and drawing he draws pictures and writes cards.

It just seems so one sided and our feelings really get hurt. I stay out of the divorce and support issues cause I feel its not my part to stick my nose in it. But lets face it there are not many men out there who on their own would go and pick out gifts, cards, wrap them, package them and send them at least 6 times a year. So of-course this is how I get involved and help and also getting to hear all about her, until she is old enough to want establish a relationship with me. So I guess I'm just hurt.

Jason unfortunately has not been able to go out there as often as he should and as he wants. Cause its not like we have money growing off trees. I mean we have 2 kids, rent, 2 car pymts, insur, child support, and up until recently a $1000/mo child care bill. So I feel partly responsible for that. But he calls her regularly and like I said we try to send her cards and goodies regularly. Anyways none of this is ever recipricated (is that the word I want). We never get "thanks", or "thanks for making efforts, thanks for taking care of her medical/dental" when in the divorce decree it states that if its over $66/mo we dont have to pay, we pay $123/mo plus any deductables. He hasn't even received pictures of her since April 2001 (he has seen her since then) we don't get school pictures, projects, colorings..nothing. Occassionally she will email pics, but thats not the same, fine for friends but not for a father.

I know I know, why should he get thanks for doing what he should as her father, but its not about that. I mean I still tell my parents thanks for everything. My boys tell us thanks for when we take them somewhere. I thank Jason for taking out the trash or giving the boys a bath, its just courteous and thoughtful.

It's just sad to me. I guess cause w/Micah I have a father who knows where we are and makes no efforts, no money, no help, no contact. Though I am ok with this and the money thing was my own pride thing but that was FIVE years ago. He chooses not to contact us. Long story for another blog. LOL

Anyways I just feel bad for Jason cause I know he misses her and he wants pictures so badly. I do the best I can for him, like I have printed the email pics up on photo paper and framed them. But to him its not the same, and I respect that. This is one of the main reasons he is so angry with his ex. He asks all the time for them, and still he gets nothing. She of-course rants that he doesn't give her enough money. When he doesn't even get the tax exemption any year and pays his support every month on time, even when he was unemployed, we made it happen, its one of our first priorities to pay.

Ok enough, cause I could go on and on. But I just have to stop cause its not my issue. I just feel badly for Jason.

Now my next rant...whew I am on a roll today. That new reality show coming out "Who's Your Daddy". Im sorry but I just think it takes such a personal and significant, not to mention traumatic situation and not only opens it up to millions of strangers, but in what seems a tasteless way.

It's about an adopted child meeting her birth father for the first time, but it seems like it is set up in a "Bachelor" type show. She meets all these men and gets to know them, blah blah and then they reveal the one who is her father in the end. Now I am not adopted or an advocate, but I just think that this is exploiting something soo sensative. Now my cousin is adopted and I guarentee that her ideal situation to meet the man who was her bio father would not have been on TV. Granted he is a crack head who is in and out of prison, but even if he wasn't she said she would not want it that way, no matter what the prize or money would be...and I love my cousin but she is all about the bling bling! So I don't know I just think they've really pushed the boundries with this reality show. But its yet to be seen, so maybe its not as bad as I think it is.

I must get my rear off this chair and get my nightly chores done, the boys want to go see the jellyfish tomorrow. We live by a pier and when you walk along it you can see tons of jelly-fish I think we will all miss that. When we first saw them, Micah said, "Mom they do not look like Patrick at all! They look like eggs!" I think that was my first clue that he was watching a bit more TV than the average 3 1/2 yr old.